God is My Midwife

I have gone through birth personally two times and accompanied women and their partners through birth as a doula several more.  There is nothing like it--the expectancy, the hope, the excitement, the joy, the pain, the grit and hard work . . . Birth defies categorization and each woman's experience is as unique as the woman herself.  But most women, me included, hold a special place in our hearts for those who accompany us during these hours--sometimes days--of transition into  motherhood--whether for the 1st time or the 10th.

Especially the presence of other women as doctor, nurse, midwife, doula, friend, mother, sister--women who guide, steady and strengthen us as we maneuver the rocky swells of labor and birth. 

You don't forget these women.  Still today, 71/2 years later, when I see the doctor who attended the birth of my daughters it's like seeing a long lost friend.  This woman saw me safely through the most monumental, harrowing and joyful experience of my life--becoming a mother.  And though I know she's caught hundreds, maybe thousands of babies, I'll still steer my girls in her direction at the grocery store or the park to say, "Do you remember Dr. Valentine?  She was the 1st person to hold you in her hands when you were born."  I honestly don't know how she gets through public places in a timely manner.

Jackson's birth, attended by a midwife, in our own home was very different and completely the same as the girls.  There was the excitement, the hard work, the support of those around me and the ultimate moment of truth where I understood no one could save me or do this for me.  I was the one who needed to find the strength, the perseverance, the courage to have this baby.  A few minutes before Jackson was born, with Jeff and my friend Grace at my side, I remember making eye contact with Debbie, my midwife and saying "I'm scared."  Taking my hand in hers, she looked at me and said "What are you scared of?" 

In the 22nd Psalm, the one that begins, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?", which Jesus recites just before breathing his last and surrendering to his own death which brought about the ultimate New Life, is the image of God, the midwife:  "Yet it was you who took me from the womb; you kept me safe on my mother's breast" (Psalm 22:9).  This is the God who stays by us in our greatest joys and our greatest struggles.  The God who reassures us through life's labor pains.  The God who safeguards the space we need to become the people we are called to be, to fight the battles we need to fight. 

God is my midwife, of what should I fear?