Musings on motherhood, ministry and the Eucharist.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Eating M & Ms

Uncle Bob & Aunt Ril dance at my wedding, August 2003
Yesterday, my great uncle, Bob Thibodeau, passed away.  He was surrounded by his children and wife and covered by a prayer shawl, knit by the women of our parish and blessed by our pastor.  He was surrounded by love to be welcomed into Love's open arms.

My grandfather, Kenny, Uncle Bob's younger brother, passed away 26 years ago, when I was 6, of a brain tumor.  In many ways, Uncle Bob was my link to my grandfather.  They shared a history, a family tree, a dedication and devotion to their family, and when I would see Uncle Bob with his children and grandchildren, I could see again the love that my grandfather had for me.

The night Papa died, my mother woke my brother and I up from where we were asleep, downstairs in Grandma and Papa's house and took us to his bedroom.  I remember kissing my grandfather goodbye as he lay on the bed he and Grandma shared, Grandma holding his hand, only minutes after he'd breathed one last time. I wasn't heartbroken then—that was my grandfather and he was present, tangible, still warm. To kiss him on the forehead was the most natural thing in the world and my 6 year old brain had no concept of death.

Now, among faint memories of the wrinkled packages of M & M's that he would pull out of his pocket and give to me before dinner, and the way he would call me "angel," what I most remember is that he loved me.  Today I miss the Papa who wasn't there to dance at my wedding, the grandfather who never held his great-grandchildren. 

Who was there at my wedding though, dancing away?  Uncle Bob.  And when I brought my 11-day old twins to a swim meet (I don't know what I was thinking) across the street from his house, Uncle Bob and Aunt Ril hurried over to the crowded, hot pool to sit on the hard bleachers beside me and coo at my babies.  

Today, my mother brought me a package of M & Ms.  As I ate them with Ani, Jessica & Jackson, I thought of two brothers, Bob & Kenny, together again.  Tell Papa how beautiful my children are, Uncle Bob, and thank you for all of the dancing.  


2 comments:

  1. Beautiful reflection on the important and invaluable role of grandparents in the lives of their grandchildren.

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  2. Katy,
    Your mother forwarded this blog posting to me. I have tears in my eyes as I read it, thinking of my own grandfather. How truly fortunate we are to have had such people in our lives. I wish I had known Uncle Bob. Thank you for sharing a piece of him with others, especially the loving link to your own grandfather.

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