Words for (and from) my Grandmother

My grandmother, Elaine Viola Beedle, passed away peacefully on November 15, 2017, surrounded by family members. At her funeral, on December 5th, I was privileged to offer a part of the eulogy for this amazing woman. Here's what I said: 

Grandma was a planner and it seemed she wanted to make sure that everything was exactly so before she passed away. The past several years Grandma gathered together different writings: poems, prayers and scriptures to be used for when she died. Sometimes I think of the things we do, preparing a prayer card or planning the rosary and funeral Mass, as a love letter we write for the person who has passed away. But, as she did in so many things, Grandma turned this tradition around, and wrote a love letter to us, in the songs, prayers, and readings she so lovingly chose for last night and today. She even left several examples of thank you cards for her family to send out to all the people who have treated us with such care and kindness during this time. Today we hear Grandma’s voice again, strong and clear lifted in song, reading the words of the Bible, praying the prayers she loved and lived so deeply.

Last June I went to visit Grandma at home. She kept asking me if I had read a recent article in the Southeast Alaska Catholic, our diocesan newspaper, written by Fr. Ron Rolheiser. I told her I hadn’t. She was insistent about how good it was but couldn’t find the words to say more. Eventually Aunt Janet produced the paper and I read the article aloud for all three of us to listen to. In it, Fr. Rolheiser talks about the death of his sister many years earlier from cancer. She was leaving behind a large family and shortly before her death she told Fr. Rolheiser what he should say at her funeral. The gospel she had chosen was the one from John where Jesus tells the disciples at the Last Supper “In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places . . . I am going to prepare a place for you.” Fr. Rolheiser wrote in the article,

[My sister] shared how before every one of her children was born, before she went to the hospital to give birth, she had carefully prepared everything at home for the new arrival, the crib, the diapers, the clothing, the room. She brought each of her children home to a place she had carefully prepared. And now she was going on ahead of them again, to prepare another place for them.

When I finished reading the article, grandma sat back in her rocking chair, closed her eyes and said, “Yes! That’s exactly right.”

Throughout her life Grandma prepared so much for us: family dinners, Christmas fudge, Easter eggs.  We remember all of these actions of love with gratitude, but even more we remember how she herself was prepared to greet us, whether we were dropping by unexpectedly or responding to an invitation, her arms were open wide, her face lit up with joy. We all secretly thought we were her favorite.

Grandma showed us how to live with purpose, love and thanksgiving. And she wanted us to know her work is not done yet. She’s still praying for us, loving us and preparing with Jesus, Mary and all the saints and angels a special place for us when it is our turn to be called home. She waits expectantly for the time we will be gathered around one table again. When our joy will be complete and the feast will never end.