This past Sunday, my Level 3 Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Atrium (9 to 12 year-olds) celebrated Reconciliation. It was a last minute add-on on my part when I realized that one of our number hadn't celebrated her first Reconciliation yet and most of the others hadn't celebrated their 2nd. Plus, Jeff was out of town during the Lenten Penance services at the Cathedral and St. Paul's so I also hadn't been washed clean of sin in a few months.
Of all the things I get to do in my job, helping kids prepare for Reconciliation is one of the best. A few years ago the other catechists and I began encouraging parents of 1st Penitents to receive the Sacrament at the same time as their children. An act of solidarity you might call it. How can we encourage our children to do something we don't? And so ever since then I also receive Reconciliation at the same time as the children. Because Reconciliation is for everyone. Which precludes some knowledge that God has which I often forget: I am not a perfect creation. I will fall down. I will not reach my goal. I will be less than who I am called to be.
I live in the cracks of a life filled with such beautiful highs--blessing my children at night, listening attentively to a friend, nourishing myself with food and sleep--and such abysmal lows--yelling at the same child whom I just blessed to stop getting up for water every 5 minutes and GO TO BED, checking facebook while talking to my husband on the phone, staying up late to watch just one more TV episode on Hulu while eating the kids' leftover Halloween candy . . .
Jesus knew the cracks of light and darkness which fill up every life. One of his closest friends denied him three times. So why do I go to confession? To remember that I am imperfect . . . and perfectly loved.
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